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Thursday, May 31, 2007

Widening the crack

Opinions are like bums...Everyone has one and it usually stinks...or shits...........Kman 2007 (copylefted from God knows)

BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN SOUTH AFRICA...

1. Indicating will give away your next move. A real driver never uses them.
2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled by two Golfs, a BMW and an Uno, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will only result in you being rear-ended.
5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving you a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
6. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It's a good way to check if the people entering the highway are awake.
7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a guideline. They are especially not applicable in during rush hour. That's why it's called 'rush hour...'.
8. Just because you're in the right lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
9. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tyre. Never stop to help - you will be mugged.
10. Learn to swerve abruptly. Gauteng is the home of the high-speed slalom driving thanks to the Metro Police Department, which puts holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keeps them on their toes.
11. It is traditional to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green. This prevents storks from building nests on top of the traffic light and miners from making deposits on your car.
12. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.
13. On average, at least three cars can still go through an intersection after the light has turned red. It's people not adhering to this basic principal that cause the big traffic jams during rush hour.
14. A solid white line is the same as a staggered line. The Metro Police Department just have to save paint to buy new cars for all the new directors. A solid white line next to a staggered line means they have sorted the directors out and the paint contract has been awarded to their wives.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

I bullshit you Not!

Do you know that if some drunk piss head injures you or kills someone, inorder to convict him you have to prove him innocent and without capacity before you can find him guilty.......Prove him innocent before proving him guilty....Strange law


I have a craving for mashmellows and hot chocolate hmmm

For the guys...

i really want to know this, though i have a vague idea as to what the answer is going to be.. bu my question is...

Do guys know the difference between La Senza and Asmall's underwear???

if u not from Durban, replace Asmalls to Pep Stores!!!

In the End

This is the place were every one has a voice so if you wanna be added just drop a mail to me with the relevant info...
this place is freedom to all post what you want as you want but be prepared to take the fire that comes your way if you wish to play with matches :D
did i even make any sense there lol god knows god cares but you get the idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bring it on you mo' fcukers!!!!